A boy with a dream One so destined to lead Loses track of himself As he enters his teens So he struggles with shame Often stealing away To places of solitude Where he cries and he prays But with time he embraced All the words that they placed Conquering dogma And unrelenting self-hate Now a man on a journey With a heart newly burning He begins to help others Those with similar stories They called him backslider

Tell me the truth: are you now Pharisees? Talking ‘bout worship but where's the sanity? Auctioning blessings for tithes and offering Nursery rhymes disguised as maturity But I guess I'm not supposed to make critique To go against God – you call that blaspheming But God and me cool, my issue tangibly Is within the four walls of your hypocrisy Was it my mouth (tearing down the patriarchy)? Was it my mind (deconstructing the binary)? Is it my heart? Baby, I don't know but I can't change that Is this all about my sexuality? Chorus So, I'm a backslider On the wrong side of the divider Must be your insider Since I'm no longer a headliner So, I'm a backslider Guess I'll find a new cosigner I don't know why you don't love me Jesus said you're supposed to love me You want me to preach, and you want me to sing You want me to shout and call it ministry But then when I tell you I want to go green You flip the script like you don't know me For 15 years I gave my everything Go on, shut me out but it's disturbing When faking myself I had anointing But you ain't tryna hear me Was it my mouth (tearing down your patriarchy)? Was it my mind (deconstructing the binary)? Is it my heart? Baby, I don't know but I can't change that Does this mean that I am in apostasy? Chorus Well, I'm a backslider On the wrong side of the divider Must be your insider Since I'm no longer a headliner So, I'm a backslider Guess I'll find a new cosigner I don't know why you don't love me Jesus said you're supposed to love me So why do I feel like you don't love me? Why do I feel like you don't care? Why do I feel like church is ugly? And why do I feel like love is rare? You poke around and it's disturbing I run my mouth and I'm the fool In pride you say so you can judge me But in the spirit you're just cruel Chorus

What you want is attention I can smell your foolishness for here Your motives are suspicious No I don't want to so soon bump what you heard You masquerade for the goodies Pop it quick and then you disappear Just because you're on woody Doesn't mean you can assume the line is blurred You can give a thousand reasons But you'll always come up short If your intimate game is on life support Chorus Wanna get it in But I'm not the one, babe Tryna play it cool But you'll miss the perks You can be reserved Try to trick to get some But you'll never know how my mind werks If you only would take a sec to listen You would see there's much more to sex than hurt You can play your games if commitment scares you But you'll never know how my mind werks How my mind werks Hit and run, that's your style Smash and bang, don't care if you shove You can whirl, turn and twist it But can you expand your thoughts, put me on top? Just having fun is your fiction But I like being wooed for love Open up, no restrictions But that's not what you've been taught, when will it stop? You can give a thousand reasons But you'll always come up short If your intimate game is on life support (Affection, body, soul, passion) Chorus You'll never know the sweetness and delight, all my misery and strife (How my mind werks) Never know the love you would be makin' Cus your fear has you mistaken (How my mind werks) Never know the beauty we could start if I were more than just body parts But that's a day you'll never see I'll remain a mystery (Try as you might I'm a mystery) I'll remain a mystery (Used to know you in another...) Chorus

I'm hurting She's hurting I'm purging She's yearning For me to Be nursing It's hard for me to care anymore She's searchin For curtains To throw on these suburban Windows I'm in limbo It's bad cus she don't care at all I just wanna break away So I count down the days When I can lock the door and throw away the key cus She don't get me She don't understand me Don't understand me She doesn't hear my silent screams She ain’t connected to my dream No, she don't get me She don't understand me Don't understand me Her energy is killing me I gotta find a way to leave Cus she don't get me