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Backslider: Side A

by Ray Curenton

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04:03
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04:22

about

'Side A' is part one of the Backslider saga. A free extended play, this four-song set combines aggressive 90s boom bap and minimalist 80s pop with themes of self-preservation & antiestablishmentarianism. This collection was hand-crafted as a stand-alone project — a teaser to give the listener a risk-free introduction to the lyrical & critical candor of the whole concept album. Download the EP above and continue the story with the second part of the series: the full length album, Backslider, is available now.

credits

released October 7, 2014

all instruments performed by Paul Mayo & Ray Curenton unless otherwise noted
all vocals performed and arranged by Ray Curenton unless otherwise noted
all songs recorded at 34 MSE (Nashville, TN)
all songs mixed by Paul Mayo with assistance by Brandon Adams
design: Imagination Fury Arts
mastered by Steve Carrao at Sage Audio (Nashville, TN)

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Ray Curenton Albany, New York

Sociopolitical music maker. Indie, never mainstream. Cord cutter.

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Track Name: Intro (featuring Charles Emanuel)
A boy with a dream
One so destined to lead
Loses track of himself
As he enters his teens
So he struggles with shame
Often stealing away
To places of solitude
Where he cries and he prays
But with time he embraced
All the words that they placed
Conquering dogma
And unrelenting self-hate
Now a man on a journey
With a heart newly burning
He begins to help others
Those with similar stories

They called him backslider
Track Name: Backslider
Tell me the truth: are you now Pharisees?
Talking ‘bout worship but where's the sanity?
Auctioning blessings for tithes and offering
Nursery rhymes disguised as maturity
But I guess I'm not supposed to make critique
To go against God – you call that blaspheming
But God and me cool, my issue tangibly
Is within the four walls of your hypocrisy

Was it my mouth (tearing down the patriarchy)?
Was it my mind (deconstructing the binary)?
Is it my heart?
Baby, I don't know but I can't change that
Is this all about my sexuality?

Chorus
So, I'm a backslider
On the wrong side of the divider
Must be your insider
Since I'm no longer a headliner
So, I'm a backslider
Guess I'll find a new cosigner
I don't know why you don't love me
Jesus said you're supposed to love me

You want me to preach, and you want me to sing
You want me to shout and call it ministry
But then when I tell you I want to go green
You flip the script like you don't know me
For 15 years I gave my everything
Go on, shut me out but it's disturbing
When faking myself I had anointing
But you ain't tryna hear me

Was it my mouth (tearing down your patriarchy)?
Was it my mind (deconstructing the binary)?
Is it my heart?
Baby, I don't know but I can't change that
Does this mean that I am in apostasy?

Chorus
Well, I'm a backslider
On the wrong side of the divider
Must be your insider
Since I'm no longer a headliner
So, I'm a backslider
Guess I'll find a new cosigner
I don't know why you don't love me
Jesus said you're supposed to love me

So why do I feel like you don't love me?
Why do I feel like you don't care?
Why do I feel like church is ugly?
And why do I feel like love is rare?
You poke around and it's disturbing
I run my mouth and I'm the fool
In pride you say so you can judge me
But in the spirit you're just cruel

Chorus
Track Name: How My Mind Werks
What you want is attention
I can smell your foolishness for here
Your motives are suspicious
No I don't want to so soon bump what you heard
You masquerade for the goodies
Pop it quick and then you disappear
Just because you're on woody
Doesn't mean you can assume the line is blurred

You can give a thousand reasons
But you'll always come up short
If your intimate game is on life support

Chorus
Wanna get it in
But I'm not the one, babe
Tryna play it cool
But you'll miss the perks
You can be reserved
Try to trick to get some
But you'll never know how my mind werks
If you only would take a sec to listen
You would see there's much more to sex than hurt
You can play your games if commitment scares you
But you'll never know how my mind werks
How my mind werks

Hit and run, that's your style
Smash and bang, don't care if you shove
You can whirl, turn and twist it
But can you expand your thoughts, put me on top?
Just having fun is your fiction
But I like being wooed for love
Open up, no restrictions
But that's not what you've been taught, when will it stop?

You can give a thousand reasons
But you'll always come up short
If your intimate game is on life support
(Affection, body, soul, passion)

Chorus

You'll never know the sweetness and delight, all my misery and strife
(How my mind werks)
Never know the love you would be makin'
Cus your fear has you mistaken
(How my mind werks)
Never know the beauty we could start if I were more than just body parts

But that's a day you'll never see
I'll remain a mystery

(Try as you might I'm a mystery)
I'll remain a mystery
(Used to know you in another...)

Chorus
Track Name: She Don't Get Me
I'm hurting
She's hurting
I'm purging
She's yearning
For me to
Be nursing
It's hard for me to care anymore
She's searchin
For curtains
To throw on these suburban
Windows
I'm in limbo
It's bad cus she don't care at all

I just wanna break away
So I count down the days
When I can lock the door and throw away the key cus

She don't get me
She don't understand me
Don't understand me
She doesn't hear my silent screams
She ain’t connected to my dream
No, she don't get me
She don't understand me
Don't understand me
Her energy is killing me
I gotta find a way to leave
Cus she don't get me